Dear Hope,
It’s time we meet again.
Every single day we come across life situations fraught with fear. We wake up to read newspapers reporting about anxious parents of young toddlers who are firsthand witnessing separation anxiety in their children aged 3–8 as schools reopen, thanks to Covid-19. Then there is news about the large scale military attack on Ukraine, where missile strikes have turned concrete jungles to dust. Families have fled to safety. Any semblance of normal life has departed. Then one day, your shiny new Apple watch that sits with pride over your wrist starts to beep. It alerts you that your heart rate has increased, showing the first signs of arrhythmia. You’re in the middle of work putting out fires when your health concerns get added to the already gigantic pile of anxiety. Of course, you panic. Technology seldom lies. It is often very accurate. Then, with the slightest signs of illness or deteriorating health, your doctor, dietician or fitness trainer warns you of the worst that could happen if you don’t improve your ways (aka lifestyle). Sure, they all — apple watch, doctors, trainers — want the best for you. But in this process, we breed fear and worry amongst each other. Two things, we clearly don’t need more of.
Then, you show up at work — and guess what — your boss too is exposed to all the above, and sometimes more turbulent situations at home. So a lot of projecting and mirroring follows. You grow discontent with your job because you fail to see things from a different perspective.
The invention of the automobile, the cell phone, smart phones, smart televisions and the internet made us run out of patience. Basically, in everyday life, there are already multiple sources of dissatisfaction. How does one lead a happy life amidst so much chaos?
Instagram and other social media channels take the cake for spiking dopamine levels temporarily and eventually creating valleys of dissonance and resentment. Ever wondered why we so closely observe how others lead their lives? The truth is that keeping such a close tab on the lives of others versus rarely reflecting on your own can never do any good.
As the years add to our age, you forget about the things that genuinely make you happy. In an attempt to groom yourself, put your best foot forward and get work done, we barter paychecks for joy. Reflecting on your actions or past behaviour can only help us find our bearings.
While I could go on and on about how worry has consumed our lives, I’ll leave you to introspect it for yourself.
When was the last time you listened to someone to understand how he/she was feeling? Instead, we listen to react or respond. Both of which not only make us poor listeners, but also sometimes create a wedge in the relationships around us.
To be fair, marketing and advertising have a huge role to play in this. Most advertising efforts are directed towards making you feel inadequate. So when you buy their product, you will feel adequate. You’re suddenly worth it! Thanks, L’Oréal. To be fair, brands have been speaking to people’s insecurities since the 1920s. Mark Manson talks more about it here. However, constantly looking over your shoulder to compare your own lives, achievements, belongings and experiences with others is bound to make you feel inadequate. Need a better yardstick?
01 Measure yourself today in comparison to how you were yesterday. Or the year before. Or the years, even before that.
02 Believe in yourself. Have faith and trust the process. Good things seriously take time.
03 Listen to acknowledge people around you. If listening simply to react or respond would get you everywhere, you would have been there by now.
04 Be your own diaper. Catch all the shit in your head, before it spreads or projects. (shit = thoughts that don’t serve you)
05 Most of all, never lose hope. Never allow those around you to lose theirs. Remember, we live in a fear-stricken, anxiety-driven society. If something you say cannot make someone feel better, it’s best to say nothing at all.
